


A decade passed

by mckinleysbitch



Category: Wet Hot American Summer (2001), Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp (TV)
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Near Future, Unofficial Sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-10-08 11:18:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10385508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckinleysbitch/pseuds/mckinleysbitch
Summary: Mckinley and Ben see each other for the first time in ten years at a reunion at camp firewood





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback welcome  
> Idk i'm just rambling at this point i had the idea seeing that netflix is making a 10 years later series

**August - 1992- 9:30 AM**

 

It had been a long time since McKinley had seen anyone from camp firewood.

 

He had run into Lindsey a while back at a coffee shop in Boston, where she was doing a story, and he still talked to JJ and Gary every so often, but not nearly as much as they had in college.He had heard through the grapevine that Susie ran a small community theater somewhere, which McKinley thought was very fitting. As for the rest of them, he wasn't really sure what they were up to.

 

He was nervous to see Ben.

 

Not that there was anything bad between them, but it just wasn't realistic for them to think a camp romance would last much longer than camp. They had gone off to different places, McKinley in Boston and Ben in New York, then maybe LA? He wasn't sure. But he was still nervous. Ben had been the first person he had ever been seriously into. His experiences before him had all been one night or flings that lasted a week or two at most. Ben... well he had really liked Ben. It sort of set the stage for his future relationships, and he was grateful to have had that experience.

 

He hoped it wouldn't be weird.

 

He took a breath and shook his head, getting out of his car and smiling at the sight of camp firewood. He was being ridiculous. He was a grown ass man for gods sake. He couldn't be getting so nervous over a guy he dated for two months ten years ago.

 

The camp looked a little rundown, but maybe it always had. He made his way over to the mess hall, overwhelmed a little with the nostalgia of this place. He had spent the better part of his childhood summers here, it was almost sad to see it now. He opened the door to find most of his old friends sitting around, talking, laughing. A few people were later than he was, Andy of course, and katie (late together? He sort of hoped not. She could do better than to stay with him all these years).

 

His eyes fell on Ben, who was sitting and talking with Coop and Susie (nothing's changed, he thought, laughing a little to himself as he walked over). He looked good. He looked really good. McKinley's heart felt like it was in his throat, but he ignored it, smiling as people looked up and said hello. JJ and Gary got up to greet him, and he joined everyone around the table.

 

"You're late," JJ teased, "its 9:33. I thought you said you'd make it your beeswax to be on time in your twenties."

 

McKinley rolled his eyes and smiled. "Fashionably late asshole. I'm a busy guy. Those three minutes are essential to getting everything done." That got a laugh from the group and he smiled. He'd missed this, he'd missed them. It was like there hadn't been 10 years between now and the last time they all saw each other. It was so easy to fall back into the dynamic they once had. His eyes met Ben's, who was smiling that stupid dorky smile over at him, and he couldn't help the grin that came to his own face. Ok, so maybe there was a little lingering something there, but he was sure it more from nostalgia than anything else. Ben could be seeing someone for all he knew. It wasn't realistic to think anything from that summer remained.

 

**10:30 AM**

 

Andy and Katie had finally arrived, not together romantically, but together as in they had been in charge of the drinks. They had moved into the old cabin where they used to have staff parties, everyone mingling around, drinks in hand. McKinley had been talking to Susie about her theater, and when he turned to find someone else, he was met face to face with Ben. He smiled, breathing a laugh. "Jesus. Don't sneak up on me like that." Ben smiled and he chewed the inside of his lip nervously. Ben really looked good. His hair was darker, and he had a little stubble going, but he looked like he hadn't aged a day. "How uh... how've you been? Long time no see."

 

"I've been good. I'm back in New York now... doing some stuff off broadway. What about you? Boston still?"

 

McKinley nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah, yeah I'm in Boston still. Might be moving to California for a job but... I haven't decided on that yet. I think I'd miss the east coast."

 

Ben laughed and nodded. "I'm sure. I did. California is nice but this side of the country is home, at least for me."

 

"Right! Right. You were in LA I heard about that. I guess I'll come to you if I end up taking the job and need any tips." Somehow, they had ended up on the couch, sort of separated from the rest of the group. He glanced up, only to meet the eyes of Susie, who was raising an eyebrow at him. Jesus. Nothing had changed at all. "Uhh... so what else is new? Whats going on in the undoubtedly exciting life of Ben? Dating a celebrity yet?" The way that Ben rolled his eyes and smiled at that made McKinley's heart flutter.

 

"No. My love life is pretty uneventful actually, No surprise."

 

"You're joking right?" They were falling back into their weird flirty, teasing banter, and he was getting a little nervous again, "you looked in the mirror lately? I am /very/ surprised."

 

"Always the charmer," Ben laughed, "I guess I've just been too busy to really get into dating. Everyone in New York is too focused on their careers for any romance."

 

"Damn right I'm a charmer," he couldn't stop smiling. It was weird being back here. It was like he was 17 again, just with more experience, shorter hair, and a looser shirt. "I know what you mean though. It's not like I'm living a romance movie either." He shrugged, pushing his hair back a little. The way that Ben watched him made him nervous all over again. It was like they had switched roles. McKinley was still just as snarky and charming as he was back in the day, with maybe a few more short relationships under his belt, but Ben seemed like... well Ben certainly wasn't the innocent kid he had been. McKinley hadn't noticed until just now how close they were sitting, and he licked his lips absently. Maybe he shouldn't have had that 5th drink already.

 

"Uhh..." he was a little tongue tied, too distracted by everything to know where to take the conversation. "So, what are you doing off broadway? You in anything? Maybe I'll come down and see it." That seemed to snap Ben out of whatever trance they had both been in, and he smiled.

 

"Yeah... yeah I'm uh... I'm in a play a friend of mine wrote, more as a favor than as a job." He sat up a little straighter, lengthening the distance between them, "you should though, if you ever get down to New York. It's very good, and I'm not just saying that because I'm in it."

 

McKinley laughed. "Maybe I will. I'm in New York sometimes for work." That wasn't exactly true, he was in New York maybe once every six months, if that, but he'd make some excuse to go see the show if he could.

 

"Oh it would be so fun to have you there," Ben smiled, and McKinley nearly melted, "New York is a great place to be... creative." He laughed, making McKinley laugh too.

 

"Oh god. I almost forgot I said that. I don't know why I couldn't just say it. Dumb and seventeen I guess."

 

**10:00 PM**

 

Somehow, all of them had managed to spend all day at this dingy little camp.

 

It had been a good time. It was good to see everyone again. It was almost like he had stepped back in time to that last day of camp, and it was a welcome escape from the day to day. They were just putting out the fire they had lit, everyone having a long drive home or to wherever they were staying ahead of them. Ben was... he was somehow both exactly the same and so different. After that first conversation, they had sort of been inseparable, no surprise. Of course, the group setting didn't really lend itself to anything but catching up and making flirty jokes, but it still felt nice to be back to this, even if McKinley knew nothing would come of it. They walked back to their cars all together, splitting off and saying their goodbyes. Ben walked McKinley to his car, looking down and smiling.

 

"It was really good to see you." Ben said quietly, his hands in his pockets, "I missed this." McKinley nodded, swallowing nervously and smiling.

 

"Yeah. Maybe I'll see you in New York. Or if you're ever in Boston..." he could feel the tension lingering between them, and for a split second, he considered just...

 

"See you guys!" Coop walked over, throwing his arms over both of them, "this was really fun. Don't be a stranger!" He said, smiling at them both before moving on to his own car. McKinley laughed, breathing out the nervousness. "Well, I guess I'll see you Ben."

 

"Yeah, I hope so," he smiled before turning to head out. McKinley got in his car, taking a few deep breaths. God.


	2. New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mckinley finds his way to New York and surprises Ben

October - 1992 - 12:30 PM

By some magic, McKinley's company had decided to send him to their New York office not even two months after the camp firewood reunion. He unlocked his hotel room and fell onto the bed, wondering how in the hell he was going to find the time to figure out where the show Ben was in was happening, let alone when he was going to see it. He only had three days here. He had grabbed a newspaper on the way over and opened it to the entertainment section, hoping maybe the play would be there. If it was, Ben's name wasn't listed, and McKinley sighed. He had to get to the office anyways. 

6:00 PM

Leaving the office, McKinley had no desire to just go back to his hotel room. He was in New York for gods sake, the best place the be 'creative' in the whole fucking country. He walked down the street, hands in his pockets, looking around for a bar or a restaurant to waste his night in. He walked past a couple small places, but it was only 6, so everything was pretty dead. He looked across the street at the small theater, doing a double take when he saw Ben's name on the awning. No fucking way he just stumbled upon his show by chance. He jogged across the street, trying to read the show schedule through the dark ticket window. 8. There was a show at 8. Ben would be in there at 8. 

This had to be some sort of sign, or some bullshit like that. Shit like this didn't just happen outside of romance movies. McKinley chose one of the bars across the street to kill time in, ordering a drink but mostly fiddling with the cup nervously rather than drinking it. He was checking his watch obsessively, which only made time go slower. At 7:30 he got up, hoping maybe tickets would be up by now. He could see that they had opened the doors to the theater already, and there were people walking in. He managed to get a seat pretty close to the front, and he sat in silent anxiety, waiting for the show to start. 

 

8:45 PM

The show was amazing so far. Ben was amazing. His character was like... sort of like McKinley. He was snarky and sarcastic, but soft when it came to the woman he loved. It was honestly kind of hot, seeing Ben be something other than sweet. Ben caught his eye at one point, and there was a slight hesitation that only McKinley noticed at the surprise of seeing him, and he smiled to himself. Thank god he found this theater.

10:15 PM

It was an incredible show. McKinley stood in the lobby of the theater, waiting for the actors to come out. His nerves had calmed down over the course of the show, and he was just excited to see Ben's reaction. The door to the stage opened and Ben walked out, laughing with the other actors. He made eye contact with McKinley and smiled, motioning to the others to give him a minute and walking over. 

"Well this is a surprise," he said, his smile reaching the corners of his eyes and his head tilting to the side like he always used to do.

"Yeah well... I was in town." He said, grinning right on back at him. "The show was incredible, by the way. You were incredible." 

"Oh stop. You flatter me." He laughed. One of the other actors came up behind him. 

"Ben, we're going out for drinks, are you and... whoever handsome is, going to join us?" 

"Wow. Well if a New York actor called me handsome I guess it must be true." McKinley joked, unsure if he wanted to be the odd one out in Ben's group of friends. 

"I think I'll skip drinks tonight," Ben smiled, "I've got some catching up to do with handsome here." His friend shrugged and walked back to where the group was standing. 

"You sure? I don't want to ruin your plans. I didn't exactly warn you I was coming." 

"Don't worry about it! I get drinks them after every show. It's not every day an old friend is in town." He smiled and McKinley's heart pounded in his ears. "We can get drinks of our own. Come on, I know all the good places around here." McKinley gladly followed, putting his jacket on as they walked out of the theater. Whatever weird series of events brought him here, he was so glad it did. 

2:30 AM

McKinley was drunk. Actually, they were both drunk. What started as a drink and catch up turned into an unspoken competition to see who had gotten the best at holding their alcohol in the last ten years. He was laughing at something Ben said, sitting with him in a booth in the back of this bar, the third they'd been to tonight. 

"Let's go dancing," Ben slurred, putting his arm around McKinley. "The night is young! I'll show you what it's like to be just... like ... super creative in New York." Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it wasn't a good idea. He had work in the morning, and his dancing had always been just absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention he was still wearing a fucking suit. Not much for night club wear. 

"Hell yeah!" He was too drunk for any of that to actually get through to him though, and they got up, paying their tab and making their way outside to some club Ben knew not far from where they were. 

"You're gonna love it. There are /so/ many hot people." That would be great if McKinley didn't really want to kiss Ben, a feeling which he was effectively ignoring because he was drunk. They walked into the club, half the guys in the front room saying hi to Ben. Definitely not the innocent kid he was when McKinley first met him, but he couldn't blame him. He was right. All these guys were really fucking hot. 

3:45 AM

They had been dancing for what felt like forever. McKinley knew he looked ridiculous. The way he danced when he was drunk wasn't exactly graceful, but he could feel Ben's eyes on him, which only encouraged his drunk self to continue. 

Somehow, the club only continued to get more crowded, and Ben was forced to dance closer to McKinley with all the people around them. McKinley watching him, smiling that dorky smile, his eyes closed, dancing so carelessly. Maybe it was the booze talking, but he was so fucking beautiful. The music slowed down a little, and they were dancing close, both of them smiling, their eyes half closed, just enjoying this place together, and then they were kissing. McKinley wasn't sure who started it, or really when it happened, but it was like time slowed all the way down, and he was back at camp firewood in the shed, just taking in everything that Ben was. His arms made their way around Ben's waist, pulling him closer as they kissed, lazy and sloppy and slow. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, McKinley pulled away, raising an eyebrow at Ben.

"Sorry," Ben laughed, swaying slowly to the music, keeping his arms around McKinley's shoulders. He just laughed and shook his head. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry for,” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to Ben’s jaw. “Wanted to do that since the reunion.” 

4:30 AM

They were finally leaving the club.  
Not that Mckinley didn’t have a good time, but he was tired, and he had to be up in like three hours to go to work. He and Ben were splitting a cab, sprawled over each other in the back seat, exhausted and sweaty and sobering up quicker than he would have liked, the movement of the cab only making it worse. He could feel Ben breathing slowly next to him, obviously trying to avoid the same nausea Mckinley was feeling. The cab pulled up to his hotel and he sat up, groaning. 

“Ben… I’m leaving,” He mumbled, poking him gently. Ben shifted a little to look at him and smiled. 

“That was fun,” He said, his eyes half closed.

“It was.” Mckinley breathed a laugh and kissed his cheek. He pulled out a card for his office and stuck it in Ben’s pocket. “I’m here until Tuesday. Don’t leave me hanging.” And with that, he got out of the cab, making his way up to the hotel room and falling into bed.


	3. Wine and dine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work surprises and a dinner date

7:30 AM

 

He thought of Ben in the shower. The way he was dancing last night, the way he kissed him, how close they were to each other. It took all he had to not let himself stay in the shower for a while, letting those thoughts take them where they would, but he had to be at work.

1:30 PM

He hated being here.

Not that he didn’t like his job. He did. A lot. But he was distracted today. He couldn’t focus. He kept thinking about Ben, and if he kept the card he gave him, or if he even remembered that Mckinley had given it to him. Every time his phone rang he nearly jumped out of his skin, answering a little too eagerly before realizing it wasn’t who he wanted it to be. 

He ate lunch alone, since he didn’t really know anyone at this office, and didn’t leave his desk, just in case Ben called.

6:00 PM

By the end of the day, he had sort of lost hope in whatever might have been between the two of them the night before. Maybe it had just been because they were drunk, and had been dancing, and had a history. Besides, how would that even work? Mckinley lived in Boston and the only place he was going in the foreseeable future was LA, on the other fucking side of the country. He sighed, getting up and making his way down the stairs. It was stupid that he was so fucking smitten. Usually he was the charming, unattached one. He was so used to casual and fun. It was what he had been doing pretty much for the past decade, so the fact that he was actually interested in something more was a little overwhelming. 

Mckinley walked out the front doors of the building, focusing on his feet and the walk back to the hotel, so much so that he nearly had a heart attack when he felt someone grab his shoulder to stop him. He whirled around, eyes wide, only to have them meet Ben’s. 

“Jesus christ,” Mckinley huffed, cracking a confused smile, “Don’t sneak up on me like that.” 

“Sorry! Sorry.” Mckinley loved that Ben got embarrassed over that. The blush creeping up in his cheeks reminded him of the seventeen year old he met a decade ago. “Sorry… I uh… I found your building.” He laughed, brushing his fingers through his hair. He was much more nervous sober, which made Mckinley feel a little better. 

“I can see that,” Mckinley raised an eyebrow and huffed out a laugh, “You uh… You want to get dinner or something? I was just gonna head back to my hotel but-”

“Yeah!” Ben was over eager, and Mckinley could see that he noticed it by the way his cheeks flushed even more, “Yeah… Yeah I uh… I actually don’t live far from here I could just… make something. Save the money of whatever bougee expensive food we’d get around here.” 

That… was certainly an idea Mckinley could get behind. “Yeah, that sounds good,” He said, following as Ben started to walk in what he assumed was the direction of his apartment, “You better be a good cook Benjamin. I had a rough day at work.” Ben smiled over at him and rolled his eyes.

“Please. I’m a gay actor from New York City. Of course I’m a good cook.” 

8:30 PM

Well, he didn’t lie. Ben was a good ass cook. His apartment was gorgeous, and the lighting was low. He had made some paella shit that Mckinley didn’t know the first thing about since he was not a good cook, but it was delicious. And then… god… he had brought out this chocolate creme something that he had leftover from having friends over that was godly, and they were on their third bottle of wine, and Mckinley was in heaven. Ben was talking about a show he had been in earlier that year, and Mckinley was just watching him talk, a little smile on his face. 

“What?” Ben was giving him a weird look, and Mckinley sat up straighter, realizing that Ben was talking to him.

“What? Nothing.” He said, shaking his head, trying to brush it off. He didn’t want to explain that he was just… enjoying the way that Ben looked, and talked.

“Not nothing. Why are you looking at me like that?”

Mckinley downed the rest of the wine in his glass and laughed nervously. “I just missed you is all. Ten years is a long time.” Ben smiled that dorky smile and mckinley laughed. “I feel like you seem like you’ve changed a lot, but you haven’t. You still have those same cute weird mannerisms.”

“Excuse you. I am a chiseled handsome grown man who is definitely not cute or weird.” Ben pretended to huff, resting his chin in his hand, “You’re still an asshole. A cute asshole, but an asshole.”

Mckinley snorted, pouring himself another glass of wine, finishing off the third bottle. “Of course I am. Being an asshole is part of my charm. How could I let that go?” He took a sip and put the glass down, “But being an asshole lends itself to being a chiseled handsome grown man. You are still a giant fucking dork.”

“Shut your mouth Mckinley Dozen,” Ben laughed, “Don’t say that around any of my friends. I’ll be done for in this city!”

“Hey now, You think I’d do that? Give me some credit.” He smiled “I may be an asshole, you might even say a cute asshole, but /I/ think it’s fucking adorable. Why would I do anything to make you stop?” It wasn’t until this moment that he noticed just how close they were, subconsciously moving towards each other as the conversation went on. His eyes glanced down to Ben’s lips, but the nerves weren’t there this time. “I’m glad though,” he said, his voice quieter now, “I liked the Ben I knew ten years ago. I’m glad that guy decided to hang around.” He watched Ben carefully, his face turn from goofy and smiley to more nervous, quiet. Mckinley ran his tongue over his lips absently, sort of just enjoying the tension between them for a moment, watching Ben swallow nervously and meet his eyes.

“Christ Mckinley… Just fucking kiss me already,” He said, his voice breathy, which was so fucking hot. Mckinley smirked and shifted a little closer, resting his hand on Ben’s thigh. 

“Let me enjoy this… just for a second,” He mumbled, watching Ben’s eyes flutter shut, “The moment before’s the best fuckin’ part. Besides, I’m an asshole. Being a tease comes with that.” He was close enough to feel his breath, hot and quick and nervous. He loved that. He loved knowing Ben was just waiting for him. Finally, he closed the gap, taking in a sharp breath and moving to wrap an arm around his shoulder and push his fingers up into his hair, pulling him closer. His heart was pounding in his ears, and Ben was pushing the kiss deeper, and then he had a hand pushing up his shirt, and before he knew it they were moving, laughing nervously and making their way to the bedroom between kisses. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Mckinley had Ben pushed up against the wall, pushing his hands up under his shirt, kissing and nipping at his jaw and his neck, making him make all those delicious noises he remembered all too well. He hooked his fingers in Ben’s belt loops, he pulled him closer, creating a little friction and making Ben moan. That had to be his favorite noise on this earth. 

Eventually, they made it onto the bed, losing their clothes somewhere in the process. Mckinley loved to take his time. He loved to press kisses on every inch of the other person’s body. He loved leaving teasing bites and feather light touches, making whoever he was wish squirm and beg and moan. He sucked a hickey onto Ben’s inner thigh and smirked at the whimper he let out. 

“God… Please Mckinley… I need…” Ben was breathing hard, and mckinley smiled, moving back up to kiss him.

“But you’re so hot when you’re needy,” He breathed, slowly moving his fingers up Ben’s thigh, “Fucking gorgeous.”

“I don’t care how much you like to look at me squirm… this is tor- Ah…” Ben bit his lip, his eyes falling shut and his back arching a little as Mckinley finally touched him, “Please… oh my god please…” 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you…” Mckinley teased, a smirk playing at his lips as he gave another loose stroke, “Tell me what you want, Benjamin.”

“God… Mckinley just fuck me already,” He breathed, his breathing picking up a little, “Fuck me like you used to...”

Ben was better at knowing exactly what to say to get him going, but then again, he had always been good at that. ‘Fuck me like you used to’… how could he resist that? He felt Ben grab his hand as he was reaching for the bedside drawer, assuming whatever they would need would be in there. 

“I ran out,” He said, sticking one of Mckinley’s fingers in his mouth, laughing at the moan it elicited, “We gotta go old school.” 

He was a little taken aback, but the way that Ben was kissing and licking and sucking… it was so fucking hot. “You… are full of surprises,” He said, smirking down at him, “I think we’re good now.” He moved his hand between Ben’s legs, slowly pushing a finger in, then two, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. He worked him open slowly, nipping at his lower lip before pulling away, repositioning himself a little before finally, god, finally, pushing his cock inside of him, shuddering and resting his forehead against the other man’s. Ben reached his arms around his shoulders, digging his nails into Mckinley’s back as he started to move, making Mckinley let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl. “God I missed you,” He breathed, nipping gently at his collarbone as he started to move faster. Ben’s eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth hanging open, as Mckinley thrusted into him. They were both hot and sweaty, the sticking of skin on skin as Ben wrapped his arms farther around Mckinley’s shoulders was almost hotter. He slowed his pace, feeling himself getting closer to climax, but not wanting this to end so quickly. That thought didn’t last long though, because he obviously hit something good, and Ben was moaning and squirming and digging his nails into his back, and Mckinley came, hard, resting their foreheads together, breathing heavy. He wrapped a hand around Ben’s cock, stroking it lazily as he kissed him. It didn’t take long for him to finish, biting Mckinley’s lip and moaning into his mouth as he did.

“I…” Ben breathed, letting his head fall back on the pillow, “Am so glad you got sent to New York,” Mckinley chuckled quietly. 

“I am too,” He smiled, kissing him again before rolling over, turning to look at Ben, laughing at the way his hair was sticking to his forehead. “You’re so cute,” He mumbled, pushing Ben’s hair back for him. 

“Don’t you mean chiseled and dashingly handsome?” he mumbled in response, obviously already half asleep.

Mckinley hummed, laughing quietly and closing his eyes. “Mmm. Of course.”


	4. stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast at Ben's

7:30 AM

Mckinley blinked a few times, forgetting where he was, or why he was sleeping in a gorgeous apartment on silk fucking sheets. He turned his head to the side, a little confused to find an empty space beside him. He got up, pulling on his boxers and walking out of the bedroom towards the smell of coffee. He found Ben standing in his kitchen, his gorgeous state of the art kitchen, wearing a fucking lacoste polo and slacks, making coffee and some sort of food. Mckinley laughed, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist. “You still dress the same as you did ten years ago, huh?” He mumbled, resting his chin on Ben’s shoulder. 

“Leave me alone. I know how to style it now,” he said, rolling his eyes and turning to press a kiss to Mckinley’s forehead, “Good morning, by the way, handsome. I see you’re still a fan of short shorts, even if they are under your clothes now.” 

“Hell yeah I am. My ass always looked great in them.” He laughed, taking a cup of coffee and leaning against the counter. “What are you doing up so damn early anyways? I mean… Thank god you are, because I have to be at the office in an hour and a half, but still.”

“Maybe I’m just a morning person,” Ben replied, putting a fried egg and toast down in front of Mckinley, who just cocked an eyebrow.

“Now you and I both know that’s not true,” He said, taking a sip of his coffee, “At least not in my experience.”

“Hey, a lot can change in ten years,” He said, sitting down at the small table in the kitchen with his own food and mug, “You may have known seventeen year old me inside and out, but twenty seven year old Ben is a totally different ball game.”

Mckinley scoffed, joining Ben at the table. “Okay, fine, new Ben loves being up early,” He smiled, rolling his eyes and shaking some salt and pepper onto his egg.

This was nice. It was so domestic, sitting here with Ben. Like they hadn’t been apart these past ten years. It felt so… normal. So stable, which wasn’t exactly how Mckinley’s life was feeling right now. It was sort of bittersweet though, because even as he sat there, drinking his coffee and watching the way the early morning sun hit Ben’s face, and the way he closed his eyes and hummed quietly when he took a sip of coffee, he knew he would be on a train back to Boston this evening, leaving it all behind. 

“I uh…” He put down his mug, frowning a little to himself, “Ben I missed you.”

“Mmm. Missed you too,” Ben replied, smiling over at him before turning his attention back to his breakfast.

“No I mean…” He sighed, knowing that this was too serious of a conversation to have right at this moment, but he had to leave for work, then for home, and there wasn’t really another time. “I have to leave after work. I have to go back to Boston, and then I don’t know whether I’ll even be staying there and I…” Ben was looking at him with a worried look on his face, the peaceful demeanor he had just a moment before fading away, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want here, but I certainly don’t want this to be another ten years without seeing each other, you know?” 

He nodded, looking deep in thought. “Well…” Ben was toying with his mug, chewing the inside of his lip, and Mckinley hated that he was sort of ruining this last peaceful moment they had together, “Just stay then… right? I mean… your job has an office here, and I’ve certainly got room…” 

It made him so sad to hear Ben say that, because he knew how unrealistic it all was. “Ben… I can’t just…” He couldn’t, right? He had roots in Boston. His parents were there, his friends were there, his job. He had a nice apartment and had established himself as a regular at all his favorite places… he couldn’t…

“Mckinley, I mean, just think about it.” Ben reached out to touch his arm and Mckinley felt his heart drop, “I don’t think I ever stopped feeling whatever it is that I feel for you. Not once over the last ten years. And then seeing you again… You coming here… That’s got to mean something, right?” 

Mckinley couldn’t think of what to say. He was at a loss for how to say he couldn’t without hurting Ben, and honestly a little tempted to take him up on the offer. It was incredibly unrealistic, something you only saw in romance movies, but that didn’t make staying here, waking up to this every morning, seem any less appealing. He glanced down at his watch and swore, remembering it would take more time to get to the office from Ben’s apartment. “Shit.” He started to stand, bringing his mug and plate back into the kitchen, “I’m so sorry. This is such a weird place to leave this but I… I have to go.” Ben had stood and followed him, and Mckinley felt like crying, or maybe laughing? It was hard to tell. He was just overwhelmed. He turned away from the sink to find Ben standing there, reaching out to put a hand on Mckinley’s face, a sad look on his own.

“Think about it,” He said quietly, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Mckinley’s lips. And with that Mckinley had to leave, reluctantly, looking back at Ben just before he did, immediately regretting it. Those damn puppy dog eyes hadn’t changed a bit. 

He was going to miss this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's hoping i don't go to angsty with this story


	5. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I dont know what the fuck is happening anymore

**Chapter 5**

 

3:15 PM

 

Mckinley couldn’t focus.

 

He had gotten essentially nothing done all day, which honestly was no surprise.

 

_ “Stay” _

 

The word had been playing over and over in his mind since he left Ben’s apartment, and the more they did, the more he wanted to. He could do it, too. He could literally not get on the train tonight, ship things to new york and sell a lot of it. His lease was up for renewal in two months anyways…

 

He shook his head, the papers on his desk coming back into focus. It wasn’t realistic, it just wasn’t. He did like Ben, but they’d just reconnected after ten years. Maybe he had changed a lot. Maybe Mckinley had changed, in ways that Ben wouldn’t like. Maybe they wouldn’t get along and realize after a month of Mckinley dropping everything and coming here that they wouldn’t make it. Mckinley couldn’t afford an apartment in new york on his own, and he didn’t know anyone here, at least not well enough to live with if things went sour. Still…

 

6:43 PM

 

_ “Stay” _

 

It rang in his head over and over again. His walk to the train station, the entire three and a half hours back to Boston. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.

 

He tried to sleep on the train, but it just wouldn’t come. He just sat there, staring out the window and hearing Ben’s voice in his head.

 

10:15 PM

 

_ “Stay” _

 

He was restless. He wanted to just fall into bed after finally getting back to his apartment, but he couldn’t sit still. He unpacked, he cleaned up, he made himself the first real meal he’d eaten since breakfast that morning.

 

He couldn’t. There was no way it would work. No fucking way. He needed to sleep on this. He needed like a week back at home to remember what life was like before he even thought about it. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone, including Ben, to just put all his eggs in this basket, especially because the basket was bound to break sometime, right? Or maybe he was just being cynical.

 

One month later - October - 1992 - 8:00 PM

 

It had been a month. One full month since he’d left New York. He had slept a lot of nights on this and he still couldn’t bring himself to make a decision one way or the other. Hell, maybe Ben had forgotten all about it by now. Maybe it was just the coffee and the post-sex morning glow bullshit that had been talking and Ben didn’t even want him there at all.

 

He probably should talk to Ben. He knew he should call him, if only as a courtesy. For fuck’s sake, he’d let Mckinley stay at his house, made him dinner, given him wine, taken him out. It was the least he could do to call, right?

 

Was it the same time in New York?

 

He stared at his phone, bouncing his knee, his hands over his mouth. He was being ridiculous. Why was he so fucking nervous? He was supposed to be the one that made Ben nervous. Finally he picked up the phone, dialing Ben’s number and waiting as it rang, his heart pounding in his ears. 

 

“Hello?” Mckinley sat up straight, running his fingers through his hair.

 

“Hey! Hi Ben. It’s uh… It’s Mckinley. Is this a bad time?” It was almost 10:30, he hoped he wasn’t keeping Ben up, “I uh… Hi.” He heard Ben laugh on the other end, and he cracked a smile, his nerves lessening a little bit.

 

“Mckinley, why are you calling?” He asked, a smile in his voice, “It’s been a bit...”

 

“I uh…” He was sort of at a loss for words, “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Silence. Fuck. He had waited too long. The time he took to think it over, to figure out all this shit going on in his head. Not that he even had it figured out. Ben had probably forgotten. He probably had someone over right now. They hadn’t even seen each other in ten years of course he didn’t want to-

 

“Neither can I.” His voice was quiet, and mckinley let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

 

“Oh thank god…” He breathed a laugh, running his hand over his face, “Ben I really don’t know what to do here. Your voice has been playing over and over in my head since I got home. I just…” He knew he was rambling. He wished he could read Ben’s mind right now. “That morning, in the kitchen, it was so nice and domestic and I haven’t really… I don’t have that. But I don’t know if I’m tempted to come back because I think it’s a good idea, because I really want to, or just because it seems like it might be nice.”

 

“Well… I mean I think it might be nice…” He was still quiet, and Mckinley felt bad. He didn’t mean for it to sound like he didn’t like Ben.

 

“No… That’s… I just mean I don’t know if it’s going to be something I do just on a whim and then end up regretting, you know? My roots are here, and you’re there. And I do like you Ben. A lot. I like you so much I spent ten fucking years thinking about you, but… It all seems too fairy tale. Like I’m gonna get there and have a great month or two and then something will go horribly wrong, and you’ll want me gone, and then what? You know? Life can’t be like a romance movie, or at least my life can’t.”

 

“I mean…” Mckinley chewed the inside of his lip, his knee bouncing again, “Why can’t it? Maybe everything will go wrong, but if I let that stop me every time I thought about it, I wouldn’t have done anything in my life. I certainly never would have been with you all those years ago. The number of times I thought to myself that you hated me, or you only were with me because you wanted sex… I mean… I was 17, and you were my first boyfriend, but it worked, didn’t it? Sure, maybe there was a ten year break between, but what if you’re saying no to… I mean… What if this is it? What if you’re it for me? And you can’t decide if that’s worth it because maybe it’ll go wrong? Maybe it’ll go right too.”

 

He knew Ben was right. And he really couldn’t know, maybe Ben was… it. Maybe he’d be living that domestic scene every morning for the rest of his life… but it was the lack of a definite end, that’s what scared him. They were either going to stay together, or they weren’t, and that was fucking scary. It was why Mckinley couldn’t keep a steady boyfriend in the decade since they’d seen each other last. It was why he hadn’t kept in touch with Ben when they went off to their respective colleges. A what if in either direction was enough to send him running scared. “I…” He knew Ben wouldn’t see what was so scary about it. He was the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place. 

 

“Mckinley, it’s fine. If you don’t want to, it’s fine. We can see if we can make something work, or we can just leave it be. We went ten years without each other, we can do it again. I just… I think there’s something here. Something worth exploring, but I don’t know how we can do that with you a four and a half hour drive from me, five, maybe six in bad traffic.” Ben sighed and Mckinley fiddled with his pants, “I’m busy, and I know you are too. This would be the easiest way for us to see where this goes. But if it’s too much, I get it. Just know that if that’s what you decide… I’m not waiting. I’m not putting my life on hold until you decide you can take that plunge. I like you, Mckinley, I do, but if you can’t do it, I won’t either.”

 

“I…” It felt real now. It didn’t feel like something he could mull over forever, and he hated the thought of Ben moving on, of someone else moving into that apartment and waking up with him and drinking his coffee and eating his food. The image of someone else sneaking up behind him in the kitchen, kissing his neck, making him smile… God. “Okay. Alright let’s… I mean… Let’s do it, right? What’s the worst that could happen?” Besides a horrible breakup leaving Mckinley brokenhearted and with nowhere to live. But that’s worst case.

 

“Seriously?” He could hear the surprise in Ben’s voice.

 

“I mean… yeah… right?” He was on his feet now, running his fingers through his hair, “I only have a month left on my lease. I can probably get all this shit stored or sold in a couple of weeks.” Stored, mostly. Just in case. “It’ll be… this is OK… this is good.” Ben laughed on the other end and Mckinley smiled.

  
“Alright well… call me when you’re coming, I guess?” They said their goodbyes and Mckinley hung up, looking around his apartment with his hands on his hips. What the fuck was he getting himself into?


	6. Finally.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're pulling the trigger on this whole thing and Mckinley actually ends up in New York

Chapter 6

Late October -- 4:30 PM

Moving was fucking hard. 

Mckinley had never realized how much stuff he had until he tried to go through it all.

But he had gotten most of it in the storage unit, left some of it at his parents’, and was going to New York packing pretty light.

Well, light was relative. Walking around with two giant suitcases and a shoulder bag wasn’t exactly graceful, but it was fine. He was excited. He had done his best to push all the worries to the back of his mind, so he was excited. He still got anxious when he thought about everything that could go wrong, and having to sit on a train for three and a half hours, sitting alone in his own anxiety and tendency to overthink everything for that long wasn’t really helping him reassure himself that it would all be fine.

It’ll be fine.

8:17 PM

He stood in front of Ben’s building, bags in band, and had to take a deep breath before buzzing his apartment. 

He sort of couldn't believe this was real.

The doors unlocked and he stumbled inside the best he could with three giant bags, thanking God that this building had an elevator. 

His heart was racing. 17 floors is too many floors to be alone with only smooth jazz and your thoughts in an elevator. He hated that he was so cynical, but he couldn’t help it. As cocky as he was on the outside, there was still that shred of doubt. Ben was… he was amazing. He was handsome and sweet and sexy, what else could you ask for? He had to wonder if this was too good to be true.

Ben was waiting for him outside the elevator, and seeing his goofy grin made Mckinley relax, rolling his eyes and smirking back at him. 

“Hey,” Ben said, just standing for a moment before breaking the moment and going to grab one of Mckinley’s bags, “I hope the trip wasn’t too bad. I can’t believe you dragged three bags through New York with no damage.” Mckinley laughed and followed Ben to the apartment… their apartment. That was weird to think about. It didn’t really seem real yet, the fact that he would be sleeping here, that he would be waking up next to Ben every morning. They pulled the bags into the bedroom, setting them near the wall to be unpacked later. 

 

“Well… Here I am,” He said, turning to smile at Ben and breathing a laugh at the expression on his face, “What? No welcome home?” He slid his jacket off and set it down on the dresser, walking over to Ben and smirking, “No kiss hello?” He wrapped his arms around Ben’s waist and leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I live here now, with you. You gotta at least want to kiss me.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Of course I want to kiss you. I just needed a minute to process this.” He motioned to the bags before reaching his arms over Mckinley’s shoulders with a smile, “But god, am I glad you’re here. I missed you… especially after last time you were here.” He waggled his eyebrows and Mckinley barked a laugh. 

“I don’t blame you.” Not that he hadn’t been thinking about it constantly for the past month too. “I am pretty good, if I do say so myself.” 

“Don’t get too cocky now...” Ben kissed him again, Mckinley chuckling into his mouth. It felt good to be here. Now that he was finally here, he didn’t feel like this was the wrong decision anymore. Sure, things could end up not working out, but he was willing to take that chance for Ben. He pulled him in a little closer, pressing a kiss under his jaw and sneaking his hands up under the hemline of his shirt in the back. “Mckinley!” Ben laughed and pulled away, looking at him with that signature goofy smile. “Slow down there, mister! You just got here.” Mckinley laughed, rolling his eyes and pulling Ben back in.

“Shut up,” He mumbled, kissing Ben’s jaw, “I’ve been waiting to see you again for like two months, and before that, ten fucking years. I think we’ve waited long enough.” Ben sighed, melting into his touch and letting his eyes fall shut, Mckinley pressing a kiss to his jaw. He smiled when he felt Ben reach down to undo his pants, shimmying out of them as Ben did the same. He unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall off of his shoulders and pressing back into Ben to kiss him. Mckinley couldn’t keep his hands off him, running his fingers over his chest and his shoulders and his ass. Two months was too long to be away from this. 

They never even made it onto the bed. Ben was pushed up against the wall, moaning, as Mckinley took both of them in one hand and was stroking slowly. He kissed anywhere he could reach on Ben’s body, nipping and sucking at his neck and collarbone, speeding up his pace. He loved the faces Ben made, the way his cheeks flushed red and his head fell back against the wall. He loved the way he breathed Mckinley’s name. He especially loved the way Ben dug his nails into his shoulders. It was definitely a new Ben thing, and it was so hot. Mckinley braced one hand against the wall as he felt himself getting closer, squeezing his hand tighter around them. He heard Ben moan, and felt him come on his hand just before he finished himself, resting his forehead against the other’s and kissing him desperately. Finally, he pulled away, biting his lip at the way Ben looked, his hair all mussed up, his cheeks flushed red. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he breathed, and Ben smiled, “I think this is the best decision I’ve ever made.”


	7. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should be doing my final paper, but you know? it's fine. i'm fine. These men are in love.

January 5th, 6:30 AM

The first few months had been a whirlwind.

Mckinley had finally gotten all his stuff unpacked, and this place was feeling more like home every day, especially with Ben here.

For a while there, they literally could not keep their hands off each other, and who could blame them? Ben was so sexy, and Mckinley loved nothing more than to rip that fucking polo off of him as soon as he got home. 

They had spent their first holidays together. Ben met his parents, but he didn’t get to meet Ben’s, mainly because Mckinley’s parents didn’t care who he was seeing, as long as he was happy, which of course he was. They loved him. His parents loved Ben, which was great. He had met all of Ben’s actor friends though, which was nice. It was nice to have Ben to help him meet people in this city. Most of them were nice enough. He hated one guy, Mark, who very obviously wanted what he couldn’t have, but Ben wasted no time in assuring him it was nothing to worry about. 

He hated to admit it, but he was… He was definitely falling in love with Ben, which was something he wasn’t used to. He hadn’t ever been involved with anyone long enough to feel that way, not really. Not like this. 

Mckinley opened the door to the apartment quietly, knowing Ben would still be asleep. Not as much of a morning person as he liked to claim, especially not on a sunday morning. He stripped off his running clothes and took a quick shower, going to make breakfast once he was dressed. Ben eventually walked out of the bedroom, stretching and smiling. He set a plate down in front of him, who smiled. “Morning,” he mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee, “how was your run?” 

“It was nice. Pretty cold out there,” He said, turning his attention to the food on his plate. He was always starving after he ran, especially in the cold. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good.” There was a few moments of silence while they ate their food, Mckinley sitting back and watching Ben while he drank his coffee, smiling at the way he looked in the morning light. Ben shot him an incredulous look. “What are you staring at?”

“You are so gorgeous.” Ben rolled his eyes at him, getting up to get the newspaper off the counter.

“You say that every morning,” He said, raising an eyebrow at him as he sat back down, “One of these days it’s gonna go to my head.” Mckinley laughed.

“It should,” He said, sipping at his coffee, “it’s true.” He shrugged, smirking at Ben over the mug. He brushed his fingers through the other’s hair, trying to tame it a little, and leaned over to press a kiss to his jaw. Ben finally cracked a smile, and Mckinley laughed. “There it is. I know you love it.”

“Shut up.” 

“Hmm. Never,” Ben rolled his eyes at him again, and he just brushed a hair out of his face, leaning forward to kiss him before standing up to take his dishes to the sink. He could feel Ben come up behind him, smiling when he wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his neck. He honestly sometimes found it hard to believe that any of this was real. It was like he was living in the cheesiest romance movie, with the domesticity, and the sex, and the mushy shit that he was so not used to. He had taken Ben on a carriage ride for their two month anniversary. What the fuck was he turning into? But he loved it. He love all of this. “I love you,” he mumbled, only half realizing he was saying it. He felt Ben freeze.

“You what?” Mckinley turned around, his mouth open, no words coming out, “Say that again. Say what you just said.”

“I…” He ran his tongue over his lips nervously. He couldn’t gauge Ben’s reaction, and it made him anxious. He’d never really… he hadn’t done this before. “I love you.” His voice was quieter, and he couldn’t bring himself to break the intense stare that Ben was giving him.

“God,” he breathed, and suddenly Mckinley was pushed up against the counter, and Ben was kissing him so desperately he could hardly breath. His hands were all over the place, searching for a grip as Ben pushed him farther into the counter. Finally he pulled away, his cheeks flushed. “Mckinley I love you so fucking much.” He said, his voice hoarse, “I know it hasn’t really been that long, but god, the time you’ve been here… I just love you.” Mckinley couldn’t decide if he should laugh or cry, and he settled for a weak chuckle and another kiss. 

“Wow. I should say that more often, huh?” He smiled, biting his lower lip, “You’re hot when you’re desperately in love with me.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, that was a good fucking moment. You had to ruin it.” Mckinley laughed.

“I didn’t ruin it,” he said, scoffing, “This is how this moment goes for us. We don’t live in a movie, Ben.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” He smiled, kissing him again before pulling away completely, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”


	8. Is this moving too fast lmk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another time skip! i was having a bit of a writers block I needed another big plot point to get going again.

Chapter 8

February 10th, 1:30 PM

He really did love Ben.

Ever since he’d actually said it out loud, he was overwhelmed with how much he actually meant it. Ben was, no question, the best thing that had ever happened to him, and all the things that had to happen to get them to this point… it was kind of incredible how the world seemed to be pushing them together since they first set foot at that camp. 

He wanted to be with Ben, like really with him. It wasn’t like they could get married. That camp ceremony all those years ago was more for fun than anything else, and even in New York, they wouldn’t find anyone who could do it legally. Even so, Mckinley couldn’t help but feel like he wanted to do something about it. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Surprisingly enough, he’d kept in touch with Susie since the reunion. She was good to talk to about anything he didn’t want to… or couldn’t tell Ben. “I know it’s dumb, and I shouldn’t feel like we need to do something to be committed to each other, but I feel the need to show him somehow… that I really am serious about this, about him.”

“Listen to yourself, all mushy. You should just propose or something anyways. Fuck the legally binding shit,” Mckinley sighed, leaning back in his chair, “Don’t sigh at me. Just have a symbolic wedding. He’ll still cry just as much as he would if you had the contract, and you’ll get rid of your anxiety over all these commitment issues you’ve got in your head.”

“I… you really think so?” He ran his fingers through his hair, getting up to pace around his office while he thought about it, “It’s not a bad idea. You don’t think he’ll freak out? It’s only been like six months since we saw each other again, and we’ve only been together for like three.”

“Of course it’s not a bad idea. Why would I give you any bad ideas?” He laughed, shaking his head, “It’s almost valentine’s day. Do something romantic, a nice dinner, champagne, get a ring, all that cliche stuff. He’ll love it.” Mckinley chewed the inside of his lip. “Besides, if I remember correctly, he said he was in love with you after like a day ten years ago. Maybe he was 17, but my guess is he hasn’t changed all that much. He asked you to live with him after a night.”

She was right. She was so right. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up after saying goodbye, almost more anxious now than he was before. He had to find a ring. What was Ben’s ring size? He’d never be able to ask inconspicuously. What should he do for dinner? Where could they go on such short notice? He could cook. No. That was a bad idea. He’d fuck something up. There was so much for him to do without Ben finding out. Why the hell hadn’t he thought of this?

Febuary 13th, 3:45 PM

He almost had everything figured out. He had a dinner reservation, he had his outfit picket out, and with the help of Ben’s theater friends, he had managed to get his ring size. All he needed now… well he needed a ring. 

He was getting nervous that he wouldn’t find one in time.  
He had been searching jewelry shops every free moment he had since he’d decided on this crazy idea, and he almost felt like he was setting his standards too high, but it had to be perfect. He was on his lunch break when he found it. He hadn’t even really been looking at the moment that he saw it. He just passed a shop window and had to stop.

It was simple, a white gold band with two diamonds, but he knew it would be amazing on Ben. It wasn’t cheap, but he wasn’t looking to go cheap on this, of all things. 

Everything was set.

February 14th, 6:30 PM

Mckinley was unbelievably nervous.

He was so aware of the feeling of the ring box in his pocket as they made their way to the restaurant. Every time it bounced back against his leg he got more anxious. He could tell Ben knew there was something up, but he wasn’t asking about it, which Mckinley was grateful for. He wasn’t sure how well he’d be able to lie his way out of it.

“This is very romantic,” Ben smiled at him from across the table, picking up the menu. He looked amazing, as always, with no effort at all. The dim lights and the candle on the table gave him this golden glow, and he didn’t think he’d ever been more sure of anything in his life. “What?”  
Ben made a face at him over the menu, and Mckinley realized he had been staring. 

“Nothing,” He laughed, picking up his own menu, “I just love you.”

8:00 PM

They were just finishing up their food, and the bottle of champagne, and Mckinley could feel his heartbeat in his ears. He knew he looked nervous, and he hoped maybe Ben wouldn’t notice in this light. He was wrong, of course, because Ben knew him. 

“What is up with you tonight?” Ben was giving him a worried look, and Mckinley knew he couldn’t wait on this any longer. 

“I uh…” He laughed nervously, fidgeting with the box in his pocket, “Ben I really love you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone in my life. When I came here there was this voice in the back of my head reminding me over and over again that this could all come crashing down at any moment, and maybe I left my life behind for something that would only break my heart, but god… you’ve proved me so wrong.” Ben was smiling softly at him, and Mckinley ran his tongue over his lips absently. “Look I… It hasn’t been that long in the grand scheme of things, but it has for me, and it really feels like i’ve been here for years already, and I don’t ever want it to end.” 

“Mckinley, I love you too, but what is all of this? What’s going on?” Mckinley chewed the inside of his lip, taking the ring box out of his pocket and standing to move next to Ben.

“Ben,” He kneeled down, looking down at the box in his hands and then back up at him.

“Oh my god.”

“I love you so fucking much… I felt like I needed to do something about it. I know it’s not realistic, and any wedding we have will be purely symbolic, but any way I can marry you, I’ll take it.” Mckinley breathed a laugh as Ben put his hand over his mouth in shock.

“Oh my god. Mckinley this is… Of course. You don’t even have to ask. Of course.” Ben was tearing up, and it was taking every ounce of willpower Mckinley had not to cry. He slipped the ring on Ben’s finger, leaning up to kiss him and laughing when Ben wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in closer. 

“I love you. I love you I love you I love you.” Ben breathed, resting his forehead against Mckinley’s. He laughed quietly and pulled away, wiping the tears from Ben’s cheeks. 

“I love you too, but wait till we’re home,” He kissed him again before standing and going back to his chair, smiling to himself. “Happy valentines day.”

9:05 PM

Another bottle of champagne later, they finally left the restaurant, the waiter congratulating them on their way out. As soon as they were in the cab, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Ben was kissing down Mckinley’s neck, moving to unbutton his shirt, when the driver cleared his throat, and Mckinley laughed. “Ben…” He wasn’t listening, “Ben… Ben! Come on. We’re almost home. As much as I love this… it’s not our car.” Ben sat up with a huff, and Mckinley laughed again, giving him a chaste kiss. “Don’t be like that. In like ten minutes… You can do whatever you want.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” 

9:17 PM

“Ben… jesus,” Mckinley laughed into the other’s mouth as he was pulled in for a kiss. It hadn’t even been thirty seconds since they closed the door behind them, and Ben was already pulling his sweater over his head, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Shut up,” He breathed, already halfway through undoing the buttons on Mckinley’s shirt, “For once just shut the fuck up and fuck me.”

“You’re so hot when you’re desperately in love with me.” He breathed a laugh, wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist and kissing at his neck. “You want me to fuck you?” He breathed, his lips grazing the skin below Ben’s ear, “I’ll fuck you against the counter like I fucked you in that shed.”

“God, /please/” It came out as almost a whimper, which only encouraged him, “I’m /yours/ now. Show me how fucking yours I am.” 

“The whole fucking building is going to know once I’m done with you,” He growled, moving to undo Ben’s pants as he kissed him. Ben was so desperate, and Mckinley could hardly breath, but god was this hot. Not that they hadn’t had sex everywhere they possibly could in this apartment already, but the way that Ben was kissing him, and grabbing him, and moaning into his mouth… “You are so fucking sexy, you know that?” He stuck two fingers in Ben’s mouth, which he sucked enthusiastically, “You make me crazy… I can’t keep my fucking hands off you.” 

“Fuck,” Ben was breathing hard, and his cheeks were flushed pink as Mckinley pushed a finger inside him, “Please… God please just - ah - just fuck me.” He didn’t need to be told twice. Ben had one leg wrapped around his waist, and Mckinley held his thigh as he finally pushed inside him, nearly coming just from the noise Ben made. Their foreheads rested against one another as they alternated between kissing and just breathing, Ben moaning and whimpering against his mouth as he picked up speed.

“I love you,” Mckinley breathed, pushing Ben against the counter with each thrust, vaguely wondering if he would have a bruise on his ass in the morning, loving that there would be a reminder of this on his body tomorrow, “You’re mine… You’re all fucking mine.” Ben wrapped both his hands around Mckinley’s shoulders, tangling his fingers in this hair, pulling at it, his mouth hanging open in a silent moan. He wasn’t sure if it felt like forever, or no time at all, before Ben was curled against him, moaning his name into his ear, digging his nails into his back, bringing Mckinley right there with him. They just stood together for a second, breathing. Ben laughed quietly, pulling back to look at Mckinley.

“I can’t believe you asked me to marry you.” Mckinley smiled, kissing his forehead, “I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it,” He kissed him again, “You’re never going to get rid of me.” 

“Mm. Good.”  



	9. Fight!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's parents are in town.........

February 27th, 9:35 AM

Mckinley didn’t think he had ever been so happy, waking up in this apartment, the sound of Ben, his /fiance/ - he was still getting used to saying that - moving around in the kitchen, the sun shining through the big gorgeous windows in this big gorgeous apartment. He made his way into the kitchen to find Ben on the phone with someone. He took his plate and sat down across from him, raising an eyebrow to ask who it was. Ben held up a finger and rolled his eyes, meaning, more than likely, it was his mother.

“Alright. Yeah that’s… yeah it’s fine. Okay. I’ll see you tonight. Okay. Bye,” He hung up the phone, running his hands over his face with a sigh. “Fuck.” 

“What’s wrong?” Mckinley sipped his coffee, giving Ben a worried look, “what did she say?”

“My parents are in town for a few days and they want to come over tonight.” He rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his breakfast, “They never give me any warning.” Mckinley frowned. He had yet to meet Ben’s parents, but he knew it wasn’t Ben’s choice, his parents just weren’t… well they didn’t exactly approve of what they called Ben’s “lifestyle choices.” They knew he was gay, but unlike Mckinley’s parents, they just ignored the fact. 

“So, they’re coming over. That’s fine. It’s not like the apartment’s a mess or anything. We can make dinner.” He reached across the table to take Ben’s hand, offering him a smile. 

“I know… it’s just… I mean I know they know I’m gay, but they’ve never met anyone I’ve been with before. I feel like it’ll be too much for them, seeing me with a man. It’ll make it real, like… they won’t be able to ignore it with you sitting here with your arm around me. I’m just worried.” 

“Hey, I’m very charming. They’ll have no choice but to love me.”

“Come on Mckinley, I’m serious.” He sighed again, running his fingers through his hair, “Not that I don’t think you could charm the pants off them… But I don’t know if they’ll even give you that chance.” 

“I know,” He shook his head, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to cheer you up.” He offered a weak smile, reaching across the table to hold his hand. “It’ll be fine. You should make Paella.” He stood, kissing the top of Ben’s head on his way to put his dishes in the sink. 

6:30 PM

They’d been cleaning up the apartment since breakfast, putting away all the little things strewn around (Ben’s sweater, still draped across a chair from valentine's day), along with anything that might be “too gay” for Ben’s mother’s delicate sensibilities, which included the picture of them kissing under the mistletoe at Mckinley’s parents’ at christmas, which Mckinley pouted about, but took down anyways. Ben had started on dinner, paella, at Mckinley’s request, and once Mckinley was satisfied with the way the apartment looked, he helped by distracting Ben standing behind him and kissing his neck as he cooked. 

“If only your parents weren’t coming. I could fuck you where you stand.” Mckinley laughed, kissing his cheek and squeezing his ass before going to set the table. 

“Oh /please/. I do not need this from you half an hour before they get here. Can you imagine if they walked in…” Ben rolled his eyes, kissing him anyways when he came back for the silverware. 

“They’d probably melt or something. Exposure to gay sex has the same effect on homophobes as the Ark of the covenant.” Ben scoffed, bringing a pitcher of water to the table.

“Hey, those are my parents you’re talking about. Be nice.” He put the pitcher down and wrapped his arms around Mckinley’s waist, smiling, “Besides, we’d mess up all the cleaning and cooking we did. That wouldn’t be fair to past Ben and Mckinley.” 

“Mm. Worth it.” He laughed, kissing Ben before pulling away to get the glasses for the table. The buzzer rang and Ben sighed, looking down at his watch. 

“6:45. Of course they’re early.” He walked over, pressing the button to unlock the door and going to bring the Paella to the table. “Okay. Be nice, be charming, and don’t be overly affectionate. We need to ease them into this.” He straightened the collar on Mckinley’s shirt, sighing when he heard the knock at the door. “Be nice.” He whispered, kissing him quickly before going to answer the door. Mckinley followed, smiling as Ben said hello to his parents, who seemed nice enough at first glance. “This is Mckinley,” He said, shooting him a nervous look.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Mckinley shook their hands, giving them his most charming smile, “How was your flight?” Ben’s mother smiled at him, and he felt a wave of relief come over him.

“It was fine, thank you.” They all turned to actually walk into the apartment, Mckinley hanging back with Ben to close the door. 

“Doesn’t seem like they’re appalled,” He whispered, and Ben shushed him, smoothing out his shirt before following them to the table. Mckinley rolled his eyes and smiled, taking his seat across from Ben’s father, which he knew Ben did on purpose, because he was afraid. Everything was… civil. It was light conversation, which Mckinley was grateful for, and they got through the meal without incident. No gay stuff, no homophobic stuff, not even any just general family stuff. Just a nice dinner.

“It’s so nice that you want us to meet your friends darling,” Ben’s mother smiled at Mckinley, picking at what was left on her plate, “Mckinley, how do you two know each other? Are you at the same theater?” 

“Uh,” He wiped the corner of his mouth with his napkin and set it down on his plate, which made Ben get up and start clearing the table, obviously nervous about the question. “No, I’m actually… I’m Ben’s... I’m his boyfriend. I live here. I’m sorry, I just assumed you knew that.” Ben gave him a panicked look from behind his parents before taking their plates, leaving Mckinley to field the questions. 

“Oh!” The look they gave each other gave Mckinley a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he just tried to ignore it, “For uh… I mean, how long have you known each other?” He could feel the fake sweetness in her voice, and the way she smiled without her eyes. 

“Well, I guess technically about a decade, but we only reconnected in October,” Ben sat back down, and Mckinley raised an eyebrow at him, “We actually uh… Well at camp we had a little fling. He hasn’t changed much, as I’m sure you two know.” Ben’s father looked like someone had punched him in the stomach, but honestly, so did Ben. 

“So you’re the one then,” His father looked angrier with every word, “You’re the one who did this.” 

“Sorry?” 

“I… I think we better head out. Early day of sightseeing tomorrow, right dear?” Shit. God fucking damnit. He could feel Ben sigh next to him, and he tried to take a deep breath and keep from getting angry. 

“So soon? Ben made dessert.” He nudged Ben a little and he got up to get it, hoping if they got it out on the table, maybe they wouldn’t leave, and he could diffuse this a little bit.

“We really have to go.” Ben’s father stood up, and Mckinley tensed, very aware that Ben was giving him a look from where he stood in the kitchen. Ben’s mother put a hand on his father’s arm, as if to hold him back. 

“Come on, 20 minutes won’t kill you,” Ben finally rejoined them, giving Mckinley a pointed look as he set down the tiramisu and the plates, “Right dad?” 

“Ben, you can’t seriously expect me to entertain this.” Ben’s father was the only one standing now, and Mckinley scoffed, which got him a sympathetic look from his mother. He stood, refusing to break eye contact.

“Entertain what, exactly?”

“Mckinley…” Ben and his mother were mirroring each other, trying to calm each of them down, and Mckinley sighed, glancing down at him. 

“No disrespect to you, Mr Cohen, but /this/…” He motioned to himself and Ben, “This is what makes your son happy, and I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck is this Ben? Who the fuck are you to tell me what makes my child happy? What’s good for him?” 

“I’m the man who the fuck your son is in love with. Who the fuck are you to decide? When was the last time you actually gave a shit about what makes him happy?”

“Mckinley…” He reached out to touch his arm gently, but he pulled it away.

“Ben’s gay! He’s fucking gay and I’m his gay lover, and we do a lot of gay things and have a lot of gay sex-”

“Mckinley jesus christ shut the fuck up,” Ben grabbed his arm, standing up, “Please just… stop. Both of you. I think you guys should go.” Mckinley had never seen two people leave a room faster than Ben’s parents left the apartment, and he sighed, running his hands over his face. 

“Ben… ”

“I asked you to do one fucking thing. I just asked you to be fucking NICE to my parents. Is that what you’d call what you just fucking did?” He was clearing the table, but every movement was tense, and he wouldn’t meet Mckinley’s eyes. “Jesus christ it’s like you’ve never met anyone who wasn’t supportive of every fucking move you make. My parents are not the Dozen’s. They’re not fucking perfect people who love me no matter what. EASE them into it, that’s all I asked.” He was gripping the edge of the sink, staring down at its contents and taking a few deep breaths.

“How the fuck was I supposed to sit there and just be nice when he was saying that shit? He fucking blames /me/ Ben! He thinks I fucking turned you into some monster when we were seventeen. I’m sorry I got defensive. I’m only fucking human.” This… this was a first. They’d never fought before, not really. Sure, small things, here and there, but never like this. It made him anxious. 

“It’s my family! That’s my shit to deal with. You didn’t need to do that. Fuck. If you had just fucking said you were my boyfriend and changed the subject… but you had to bring up camp, and then call me your fucking gay lover…” He threw his hands in the air, dramatic as always, “I mean come on. You should have seen you two. You’re just like him. You’re both so fucking stubborn. I would have thought twice if I thought I was fucking my father.” 

“I was just trying to help you! I’m on your side, Ben.” 

“Well you obviously didn’t help. I’m going to bed. You can finish cleaning up the fucking mess you left in this room.” Mckinley sighed.

“Ben, come on…” 

“Goodnight.” Mckinley flinched when he heard the bedroom door slam closed, and he sighed, leaning back against the counter. Fuck.

February 23rd, 8:32 AM

Mckinley knew now why people said to never go to bed angry. The couch was not the ideal place to sleep… well that and the fact that Ben had probably been seething over this whole thing all night. He sat up, groaning as he cracked his neck and stretched out. “Damn.” He stood, walking into the kitchen and filling a mug with day old coffee, warming it up in the microwave and sitting down at the table and taking a sip. He could hear Ben moving around in the bedroom and sighed, chewing the inside of his lip. He really wasn’t sure how to approach this. Every other time he’d been in a big fight, it ended with a breakup, which was probably why he’d never been with anyone longer than a month, if that, before this. He abandoned his coffee at the table and went to gently knock on the bedroom door. “Ben…?” he said quietly, opening it slowly, only to be met with the sight of Ben trying to hide the fact that he’d been crying. “Fuck.” He sat down next to him, putting his arm around his shoulders, only to be shrugged off. “Ben… come on. I’m sorry, okay? It wasn’t my place. I get it…” Ben sighed, resting his head on Mckinley’s shoulders, “...even if I was just trying to defend you.”

“Are you serious? Did you seriously just fucking say that?” Ben stood up, pacing across the room, “Jesus christ Mckinley. You’re right. It wasn’t your fucking place to say /any/ of those things. I don’t need you to defend me. You don’t know my parents… You couldn’t have just been fucking /nice/ for like two hours?” 

“Fine. I’m fucking sorry for being on your side.”

“Oh come on don’t give me that shit. That shit wasn’t about me, it was about /you/ being the fucking hero, instead of just doing what I asked. Last night was not ruined because of my father. Maybe he blames you, but you know that’s not fucking true. Maybe he doesn’t approve, but who gives a shit? I knew that already. I didn’t have them over to change their minds about the gays in two hours, I just wanted them to see that I’m fucking happy, and that I’m with someone handsome and nice and charming, even if they don’t like that I am. Even if they don’t like that I’m /with/ you, I just wanted them to like you, but of fucking course I wanted too much.” Mckinley rolled his eyes, standing to be on Ben’s level.

“You expect me to believe that? You didn’t even fucking tell them we’re together. Your mother called me your friend. Do you know how fucking humiliating that is?” He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head, “I didn’t even get the chance to make a good impression because I had to fucking correct her. /I/ had to be the one to tell them. You can’t put that on me and then tell me I went too far to defend it, to defend us. I fucking love you. I want you on my fucking side, I /need/ you on my side, but if you don’t want me on yours then what the fuck are we doing here? Why the fuck are you with me?” 

“Fuck you Mckinley. I fucking love you. Not wanting to make a scene with my parents doesn’t mean I don’t.” He sighed and sat back down on the bed, twisting the ring on his finger, “I do want you on my side. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell them, I was just afraid they wouldn’t come if they knew, and I really did want them to meet you.” He glanced up at Mckinley, who huffed and sat down next to him, “It still doesn’t mean you had to say all that stuff about all the gay shit we do. I honestly thought my mother was about to faint.” Mckinley laughed, looking over at him.

“Yeah… That one I’ll give you. I don’t think I’d even want /my/ parents to have to hear that, and my mother is not shy about sex,” Ben smiled, leaning against him a little bit, “I got over defensive, I know that, and I’m sorry. But I just don’t think that what we have is the worst thing to defend, even with your parents’ sensibilities at stake.” He put his arm around Ben, “I love you. I think they should know that, whether they like it or not.” Ben sighed, resting his head on Mckinley’s shoulder. 

“Maybe you’re right, and it’s fine. I understand why you got angry. Just… next time I ask you to be nice, please just be /nice/. I have a whole family of homophobes you’ll meet eventually. I don’t need to break up a fight at every event.” Mckinley breathed a laugh, kissing the top of his head.

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t think we should invite them to our fake wedding though.”

“God no. Heads would explode.” Ben sat up, kissing Mckinley before standing, “well… we did it. Our first big fight. You want breakfast? I’m starving.” Mckinley smiled, rolling his eyes. 

“Yeah alright.”


	10. planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a couple little shorts of wedding planning because for some reason my brain has betrayed me and I can't write real things right now

Chapter 10

March 15th, 10:43 AM

“I think it looks great,” Mckinley watched from his chair as Ben checked himself out in the mirror, frowning at his reflection. 

“You don’t think it’s too much?” He adjusted the jacket of the white tux, sighing a little, “I don’t know. What’s wrong with just a normal suit?” Mckinley rolled his eyes, resting his chin in his hand and smiling.

“Looks good from this angle.” Ben scoffed, looking at him over his shoulder. 

“Stop staring at my ass and give me a real answer.” 

“You’re no fun,” He stood, walking over to Ben, who turned to face him, “I really think you look great. Handsome and chiseled and sexy and all that.” He straightened out his collar, “All eyes should be on you anyways. You’re the gorgeous one.” 

“Oh shut up,” He wrapped his arms around Mckinley’s shoulders, “All my friends are jealous of my hot boyfriend.” 

“Mm. Good.” He laughed, snaking his hands around Ben’s waist and pressing a chaste kiss to, “You look amazing, but you always look amazing. I’d marry you even if you showed up wearing nothing. Actually… /especially/ if you showed up wearing nothing.” He raised an eyebrow, laughing when Ben rolled his eyes and blushed a little. 

“Every nice thing you say has to end like that, doesn’t it?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Gimme a break. You know I love you, but I also would love to rip that thing off of you and fuck you in the dressing room.”

“Mckinley!” He was blushing again, which Mckinley would never stop loving, “There are people around!”

“It’s true,” He smirked, kissing Ben again, who laughed and pulled away.

“Don’t get carried away. It’s not my suit yet.” Mckinley laughed, putting his hands in the air and taking a step back.

“Fine, fine. But I think you should get it, if only so I can throw it on the floor the first chance I get.” Ben laughed, rolling his eyes before going back into the dressing room to change. 

March 17th, 12:24 PM

“I don’t like the belgian as much.” Ben was talking through a mouthful of cake, and Mckinley laughed, exchanging a look with Daniel, their friend who owned the bakery. 

“Ben, you can’t shoot down every flavor. I only have so many.” 

“Oh hush. It’s my wedding. Mckinley tell him.” He said, taking another bite of the cake he apparently didn’t like, raising an eyebrow over at him.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I’m not getting mixed up in this cake business. You know I’ll eat anything.” He laughed, and both Ben and Daniel rolled their eyes at him in unison. “Okay okay. I don’t need /two/ gays telling me that I don’t have enough opinions about wedding cake.” 

March 19th, 9:45 AM

The invitation mock ups were laid out on the kitchen table in front of him as Mckinley looked over a list of people to invite that they had thrown together so far, which consisted mostly of his parents and sister and some friends. “Should we invite everyone, or should we just keep it to New York friends and family?”

“Everyone?”

“I mean like… firewood people. Susie is already on here, but should we invite the rest of them?” Ben came and sat down next to him, coffee in hand. “I feel like we should… I mean, they were there when we first… I feel like I want at least JJ and Gary there.” Ben just hummed and nodded, taking a sip of his coffee, and Mckinley chewed the inside of his lip. “Is this too fast? Are we moving too fast?” 

“What?” Ben put his coffee down, his brows knitting together to give Mckinley a worried look, “With the wedding planning? I think we want to get it do-”

“No I mean…” He sighed, running his hands over his face, “Nothing. Nevermind. I’m overthinking it.” He chewed the end of the pen absently, adding the names to the list.

“Mckinley…”

“I just… it’s been what, four months? I feel like we’ve been riding this wave of like infatuation but… I don’t know maybe we should put it off a little bit.” He saw Ben’s face fall, and it broke his heart. “Ben… I'm… you know I love you. I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but we're not seventeen anymore. I just feel like we might not have thought this all the way through, myself included.” 

“McKinley you cannot be serious, this was /your/ idea.” he said, giving him a pointed look, “First of all, this is in no way legally binding, so if you really think you'll want to leave, you don’t have to worry about any paperwork.”

“Ben, you know that's not-” Ben completely ignored him, continuing to talk. 

“Second of all, I bought a suit, and Daniel already has an order for the cake ready for when we pick a date, AND you already told your parents!”

“That we're /engaged/. Engagements can last forever if you want,” he sighed, looking back down at the list, “you're right. You're right! I know. I didn't regret moving in here, why would I regret this?” 

“Mckinley,” Ben put his arm around the other, pressing a kiss to his temple, “Look, I know it stresses you out, but that’s stupid. I love you, and who cares if in ten years it doesn’t work out? Or even tomorrow? I just know that /right now/, right here, with you, is exactly where I want to be.” Mckinley sighed, “ Besides, this is more of an excuse to get gifts and take a vacation than anything else. I know /I/ want a new china set, and I certainly won’t let the likes of /you/ keep me from that.” 

“You know I’m just in it for the trip to Hawaii.” He laughed, relaxing a little as Ben pressed another kiss to his forehead.

“Yeah, and the view you’ll get of my ass in a swimsuit.” He mumbled, flipping the page of his newspaper, absently toying with Mckinley’s hair. He chuckled quietly, leaning into Ben with a sigh.

“Mm. You know me too well.”


	11. It's a wedding!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like you get it from the title...  
> the wedding >:)

June 13th, 3:35 PM  
Mckinley really, truly, hadn’t ever been more nervous in his life.

Not when he went to the reunion, not when he moved here, not when he proposed. This… this was it. This was probably the most nervous he’d ever be for anything. He leaned against the sink in the bathroom, his knuckles white from gripping the edge, and took a few deep breaths in the mirror. This was actually happening. He was actually about to go stand out there and get married to Ben, even if it was just symbolic. His family was out there, their closest friends… He shook out his hands, reminding himself again that this was real. 

If someone had told him this time last year that this would be happening, he’d have laughed. Honestly, he would have. He wasn’t sure what bizzarro reality he’d been dropped into that lead to all this, but he was so happy. Nervous, yes, but happy.

Mckinley nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the door open, and breathed a sigh of relief to see JJ standing there. “You scared the shit out of me,” He laughed, letting out a breath and straightening his jacket a little. 

“Jesus dude, you’re so jumpy,” JJ raised an eyebrow at him and turned to use the urinal, “There’s only like… 15 minutes until the ceremony. Shouldn’t you be powdering your nose or something?” 

“I’m gay, not a woman, asshole.” Mckinley rolled his eyes, straightening his jacket again, “And of course I’m fucking jumpy. I’m nervous as hell.” 

“What are you nervous for? Ben’s like, super gay for you,” He joined Mckinley at the sinks, washing his hands and glancing over at his reflection in the mirror, “Mckinley, it’s fine. What the hell are you worried about anyways? He’s only been in love with you for like… ten years.”

“Yeah,” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, “I know it’s just… I honestly didn’t think this was possible for me. I almost still can’t believe it’s happening. It’s like someone’s gonna pop out at any moment and tell me the whole thing is a prank and I’ve been on candid camera or something this whole time.” JJ snorted a laugh.

“Honestly it might make more sense than all the crazy coincidence shit that got you two back together again,” Mckinley chuckled quietly, running his fingers through his hair.

“You’re not wrong… I can’t believe this is happening.” JJ gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“I better get to my seat. I’ll let you calm your nerves a little. Good luck buddy.” Mckinley smiled, chewing the inside of his lip. He looked down at his watch once JJ was out of the bathroom, swearing under his breath. Ten minutes. “Shit.”

4:00 PM

Ben was so fucking gorgeous. He was so beautiful, and Mckinley had no idea how he got this lucky. He kept shifting his weight nervously, smiling over at Beth, who they had asked to officiate, for old time’s sake. The way Ben was grinning, blushing at the way Mckinley was blatantly staring, was so adorable, and he really looked incredible in that suit. He was so glad Ben bought that suit. “God, I love you,” He mumbled as he finally reached him, taking his hands, “You’re so incredibly beautiful.” Ben laughed quietly, looking down in embarrassment, and Beth covered their hands in her own, smiling softly at both of them. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, You all know what we’re here for today. We’re here to celebrate the love of these two men in front of me, and to join them in holy matrimony, even if just symbolically.” Mckinley could see that Ben was already tearing up, and he breathed a laugh, squeezing his hands a little, “I’m so proud to stand here in front of all of you, to be here for this moment for Ben and Mckinley. I’ve known them both for over a decade, and I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to see this love grow. They’ve both written their own vows, so Mckinley, if you’d like to begin…” Mckinley smiled, nodding at Beth and taking a deep breath. 

“Ben…” He already had a tear running down his cheek, and Mckinley laughed, wiping it away, “Oh my god, please don’t cry yet, not with this many gays in the crowd. We’ll never make it through the ceremony.” He got a little laugh from the guests, and Ben, and he shook his head. “Ben, you have no idea how happy you have made me. I sometimes can’t believe this is happening. I honestly feel like someone could pop out at any second and tell me it’s all been an elaborate prank,” Ben laughed a little, and Mckinley made eye contact with JJ, who raised an eyebrow at him. “You are sweet, and funny, and /gorgeous/, if I don’t tell you that enough. I will never stop wondering how the hell I got so lucky, but that’s what I love about you. I love the absolutely ridiculous circumstances that somehow got us here. I love how easy it is for you to just let it happen, and how willing you are to talk me down from my anxiety and disbelief that all this isn’t too good to be true. I love waking up next to you in the morning, and making you coffee, and the way you look when the sunlight is filtering through the windows, even if I know you get embarrassed when I stare. I love the way your laugh reaches the corners of your eyes, and how you bite your nails when you think nobody's looking; the way you tear up and flush pink when you’re angry, and play with the hem of your shirt when you’re nervous… I love everything about you, and I can’t wait to see it all for the rest of my life, or as long as you’ll have me.” Ben was sniffling and taking deep breaths, obviously trying not to cry. 

“God,” He laughed a little, wiping at his eyes, “I… I really don’t know if I’ll make it through this.” Ben pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket, blinking quickly to try to will away the tears. “Mckinley Dozen, I know you won’t believe me, but I am in just as much disbelief to be standing here with you as you are.” He took a shaky breath, “I love you more than anything. I love everything about you. You’re beautiful, even if you don’t think so. You’re a sarcastic, nihilistic, cocky, asshole, who ruins every sentimental moment we have with a dumb joke, and there is no one on this earth who could be more perfect for me.” Mckinley laughed, rolling his eyes a little, “The moment I saw you again… the moment you walked into that room at firewood, which seems like a lifetime ago, I didn’t care about anyone else…” He had to pause, taking a breath and fanning himself a little in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, “I can tell you right now, there’s no way I’m making it through these vows, but I don’t think anyone expected that I /wouldn’t/ cry today.” Their guests laughed at that, and Mckinley couldn’t help but tear up a little himself. “Ugh… Just know that I love you. I love you so much, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I don’t think I can.” For a symbolic wedding, there were a lot of tearful faces in the crowd, Beth included. She smiled, holding out the ring they had bought for Mckinley, matching the one that Ben wore. 

“Boys, if you’ll repeat after me,” she took their hands in hers, “I take you to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.” They both repeated after each phrase, smiles growing with every word. Ben slipped the ring onto Mckinley’s finger, his cheeks tear stained and his eyes watering. “You may kiss your partner.” Mckinley found himself pulled in, Ben kissing him hard, before he could even process Beth’s words. He laughed against his lips, wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist, vaguely aware of the cheers coming from their guests. He pulled away when he ran out of breath, wiping away Ben’s tears and kissing just under his eye. 

“Holy shit, we just got married.” Ben laughed, taking his hand and squeezing hard.

“Holy shit is right.”

5:30 PM

Mckinley was watching Ben as he walked around, laughing and talking with everyone. He leaned against a doorway, drink in hand, smiling to himself at how beautiful he looked… how beautiful he /always/ looked. 

“You got so fucking lucky dude,” Mckinley glanced over his shoulder, smiling at JJ, who breathed a laugh, “I’m no fag, but Ben’s just about the best you could do. Better, probably.” Mckinley nodded, taking a sip of his drink with a smile. 

“I can’t say you’re wrong,” He said, smiling as Ben caught his eye and waved, “He’s incredible JJ. I honestly didn’t know I could /be/ this happy.” 

“My advice? Do everything you can to keep him around. I don’t want to have to deal with what you’ll be if this ever falls through.” He gave Mckinley a pat on the back before heading back out into the party, and Mckinley laughed, rolling his eyes and reluctantly giving up on just watching Ben to go mingle with his guests.

6:45 PM

Everyone had finally made their way to their seats for dinner, Ben and Mckinley next to each other at the head table, along with whatever family had made it. Mckinley was too distracted by Ben to pay attention to anything else that was happening. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself, one arm wrapped around Ben, pressing a kiss to his cheek or his jaw or his lips every couple of minutes. He could tell Ben was blushing at the public displays of affection, but Mckinley couldn’t bring himself to care. Dinner was delicious, of course, thanks to Ben’s many connections to the gays of New York City and all the businesses they owned, and it seemed like everyone was having a good time, which was a relief. Not that they shouldn’t be, but it had still been a source of anxiety for Mckinley leading up to today. Mckinley’s dad did a toast about how happy he was that Mckinley was happy, and how much he supported their relationship, and Mckinley nearly broke down. He knew already that his family was accepting of who he was, but to hear it out loud… it was like a weight had been lifted off him, and he kissed Ben, even if it embarrassed him, because he literally couldn’t have possibly been happier than he was in this moment. 

9:45 PM

Their wedding party had turned into something of a real party, and the weird mix of old firewood friends and new New York ones turned out to be a recipe for a really fucking good time. Mckinley didn’t think he’d ever seen susie dance so hard, and that was compared to camp parties they used to have. He and Ben had given up dancing about half an hour ago, settling for sitting and laughing at their friends being ridiculous, and Mckinley kissing Ben every few minutes, keeping him constantly blushing. He was almost grateful that the hotel needed them out by 10, because it meant he got to retreat to a room with Ben… with his /husband/. He didn’t think he’d ever be used to that. 

10:25 PM

They were finally finished. The cleanup was taken care of, the gifts were being delivered to their apartment, and they had a key to the honeymoon suite for the night. Mckinley couldn’t even wait until they were out of the elevator to jump Ben, pushing him against the closed doors and kissing him anywhere he could reach with the tux still on. Ben was laughing, trying to push Mckinley off of him, with no success. 

“Mckinley!” It came out like a giggle, and Mckinley pulled away, taking in how gorgeous he looked right now.

“I love it when you blush,” He mumbled, kissing him again. The elevator dinged and he practically dragged Ben into the room, fumbling with his jacket as soon as they were inside.

“Hold on…” Ben breathed, “Mckinley… I have a surprise for you, okay? Be patient.” Mckinley raised an eyebrow and Ben just gave him a playful look, the blush rising into his cheeks again. “Get on the bed.” He did as he was told, sprawling out and propping himself up on his elbows, watching Ben expectantly. 

“Ben wha-”

“Shut up. Don’t talk. Just…” He bit his lip, obviously nervous about whatever it was he was planning. He let his jacket fall to the ground, unbuttoning his vest excruciatingly slowly as Mckinley watched. He got off his shirt, and there was something sticking out under the waistband of his pants… Mckinley sucked in a breath when he was finally undressed, his eyebrows shooting straight up. “Holy shit…” Ben was standing in front of him in this white, lace set. He had on a garter belt, and stockings, and panties that could barely cover him. It took Mckinley a second to take it all in, and when he finally met his eyes again, Ben was bright red. 

“Do you like it?” his voice was barely above a whisper, and Mckinley stood, walking over to him and kissing him, pulling back to look him over again. 

 

“Ben, you are the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” He ran his fingers across the lace, which seemed to make him relax a little, “God, look at you. /look/ at you. This is cheating. You’re cheating. How am I supposed to control myself?” Ben laughed, reaching out to push Mckinley’s jacket off his shoulders.

“Don’t.” he whispered, biting his lip a little, and Mckinley almost stopped breathing. He swept Ben off his feet, literally carrying him over to the bed and dropping him down, not even wasting a second before he was straddled across his hips, kissing him urgently, and dragging his fingers across his chest. He moved to kiss his jaw, then down his neck, forcing himself to slow down a little, savoring the noises Ben made as he mouthed over his nipple, and brushed his fingers across the lace. He dragged his hand up Ben’s leg, loving the feeling of the stocking against his skin, and teased at his inner thigh, gently running his fingers along the hemline of the panties, making Ben squirm. 

“Are these silk?” He mused, tracing the lace patterns, touching Ben everywhere but where he knew he needed to be touched. Ben whimpered, his back arching a little against Mckinley’s touch. He smirked, shimmying out of his own pants, his shirt still hanging unbuttoned on his shoulders. “You look so… virginal. Like you’ve never been touched.” He mumbled, still running his fingers gently across his skin, “Do you want me to touch you?” There was a smirk playing at his lips, and he glanced at Ben, raising an eyebrow.

“God, /please/ Mckinley,” Ben moaned, propping himself up to look at Mckinley, “I /need/ you to touch me. I need- ah…” His head fell back as Mckinley pulled back the panties, dragging them against his cock as he did. He had given up on taking his time, wetting his fingers to start stretching Ben open, nipping at his collarbone as he did. 

“What? What do you need?” He pressed a kiss to his jaw, “You want me to fuck you?” Ben moaned, and Mckinley smirked against his shoulder. 

“Yes I want you to fuck me, you’re my fucking husband,” he breathed, and Mckinley laughed a little, propping himself up to kiss him. He sat back on his knees, running his hand down Ben’s leg before lifting it to rest on his shoulder, pulling him closer by his hips until they were flush against each other, Mckinley pushing inside of him with a shudder. Ben sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes closing and his mouth hanging open slightly as Mckinley started to move, setting a steady pace. He held his leg, running his fingers across the stocking material, which made Ben let out the filthiest noise, and Mckinley had to bite down on his lip to keep from coming right then and there. “Ah- I love you. I love you I love you I loveyouiloveyouiloveyou.” Ben was mumbling it over and over again under his breath, and Mckinley adjusted so he could lean over and kiss him, keeping the same pace. Ben immediately brought his arms up around his shoulders, kissing him desperately. It was sloppy, and wet, and Ben was moaning into his mouth with every thrust, and it was probably the hottest sex they’d ever had, if only because Mckinley could feel the weight of the ring on his finger as he ran his hands up Ben’s sides. God, if being married to Ben wasn’t the best thing he’d ever fucking dreamed of… “Mckinley! Ah my god,” with that, Ben was coming around him, curling in against him and digging his nails into his back, Mckinley’s name on his lips again and again as he rode out his orgasm. It only took a few more thrusts for Mckinley to be right there with him, burying his face into the crook of Ben’s neck, moaning against his shoulder.

“God… I didn’t even touch you,” he chuckled quietly, pulling out and flopping down at Ben’s side, who was still breathing hard. “You didn’t even need it… That’s so fucking hot.” Ben laughed, flipping over and sprawling his arm across Mckinley’s chest, pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“Mm. That’s my gorgeous husband’s fault. I’m so hot for him, just the thought gets me going.” Mckinley breathed a laugh, tracing his fingers up and down Ben’s arm. 

“I can’t fucking believe it.” He mumbled, looking up at the ceiling, “/husband/… that’s so… God. I love you so fucking much.” Ben smiled, lifting himself to kiss him.

“I love you too.” He grinned, kissing him again, “I’m gonna get some water. Gotta stay hydrated if we’re gonna use this honeymoon suite to its full potential.” He smirked, standing up and walking into the bathroom. Mckinley rolled his eyes, watching him walk away, the garter belt and stockings still on.

“Don’t take too long. I can’t resist you in that lingerie.” He heard Ben laugh from the bathroom and he sighed, smiling up at the ceiling.

He was the luckiest fucking guy in the world.


End file.
